The Roles Women Play.

It’s weird that we girls watch movies like the Notebook or Clueless to see ourselves. We put our own faces on the actresses and our own feet in their expensive label shoes.

Mostly though, we picture the guy, (enter name here), a boyfriend or crush, as the heroine’s counterpart; the main actresses’ leading man. We then sit gazing into the television like he may be on the other side, gazing back at us. Like maybe our crush is sitting in his living room watching the same exact movie we are – and when he sees the plot of the movie it will all click. He’ll get us. He just needs to see the ending, to know how to pursue us – or to know definitely that we’re worth it.

And then we gather from these films the confidence to go out and play the role of Scarlet O’Hara or Elle Woods. Maybe we even make things happen to fit a particular role, not just ones set by society, but ones set by Hollywood and our own imaginations.

The script is written. We’re the directors, the lead and the backstage crew. We’re the glue that holds the plot of our relationships together.

But, what if we just let go? We set the romance novels down, put the chick-flicks back into their cases and stop trying to live out our relationships like they’re a dramatic miniseries on Lifetime TV.

We can let go and actually listen to a boy like he’s a person, not a hired actor.

Because when he imagines himself as leading man it’s in movies like “The Hulk” or “Star Wars.” Or worse of all, “Superbad.”

He probably won’t build you a house and wait ten years or always remain silently in love with you, and more likely than not he won’t delve to the bottom of an ocean for your car keys.

So, don’t wait for him to throw rocks at your window and stand beneath, in the rain, with a boom box. Just let him be the man he is – whether he ends up cast in your life or not.

There’s a new kind of role-playing catching on with women – and it’s breaking our hearts.