Today You Are You.

The past is gone and the future is near, but now is the present – which is truly a gift. This saying is said to help wipe the sweat off your brow, don’t worry about the past, it didn’t last, and future days are still a maze. Today’s the time to make your move, set your path and create a new groove.

Think about it, the past is full of things like breakups and fights. Things we can’t take back, including those we really wish we might. Also things we knew we should and times we did everything we could.

The future on the other hand comes as slowly as a turn timer dripping sand. No one owns a crystal ball, and really there’s no one person who knows it all. So you can sit and wait for tomorrow, and dream and dream of days to come, but don’t forget today can be just as fun.

Today is the day you can make a change, keep what you have or go for an exchange. You can choose to shop or eat or love or meet new people everyday. As time flies by from hour to hour, think for a moment of what you want, you have the power.

No one else can choose for you, how you love or even who. But everyday you move on earth, be proud of what you do, claim your life’s turf. Whether you find a soul mate, career or just a new passion, remember writing your own rules never goes out of fashion.

Yesterday’s deeds are gone and done, and tomorrow who knows if your dreams will ever come. However today is here, so near to touch, with only 24 hours it may not seem like much. But right now is the time to grasp life and mold it. For even on the most boring of days, you’re chopping your future out from life’s haze.

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” (Dr. Suess)

The Roles Women Play.

It’s weird that we girls watch movies like the Notebook or Clueless to see ourselves. We put our own faces on the actresses and our own feet in their expensive label shoes.

Mostly though, we picture the guy, (enter name here), a boyfriend or crush, as the heroine’s counterpart; the main actresses’ leading man. We then sit gazing into the television like he may be on the other side, gazing back at us. Like maybe our crush is sitting in his living room watching the same exact movie we are – and when he sees the plot of the movie it will all click. He’ll get us. He just needs to see the ending, to know how to pursue us – or to know definitely that we’re worth it.

And then we gather from these films the confidence to go out and play the role of Scarlet O’Hara or Elle Woods. Maybe we even make things happen to fit a particular role, not just ones set by society, but ones set by Hollywood and our own imaginations.

The script is written. We’re the directors, the lead and the backstage crew. We’re the glue that holds the plot of our relationships together.

But, what if we just let go? We set the romance novels down, put the chick-flicks back into their cases and stop trying to live out our relationships like they’re a dramatic miniseries on Lifetime TV.

We can let go and actually listen to a boy like he’s a person, not a hired actor.

Because when he imagines himself as leading man it’s in movies like “The Hulk” or “Star Wars.” Or worse of all, “Superbad.”

He probably won’t build you a house and wait ten years or always remain silently in love with you, and more likely than not he won’t delve to the bottom of an ocean for your car keys.

So, don’t wait for him to throw rocks at your window and stand beneath, in the rain, with a boom box. Just let him be the man he is – whether he ends up cast in your life or not.

There’s a new kind of role-playing catching on with women – and it’s breaking our hearts.

The Game of Love.

If it comes from the heart, how can it be wrong? I know there may be a blatant difference of intentions and how those intentions are communicated, but I can’t help thinking it should be like the movies – as cliché as that may sound. I’ll open my heart; you’ll stare quietly outward as I walk away defeated. Oh, and it’s raining of course. Then later that day when I’m feeling my most downtrodden, you’ll just appear. I’ll gasp and say, “You’re here?” You’ll then confirm my hope of all hopes; you really do feel as I do. We’ll live happily ever after. That’s as far as I can go with that since the movies only last 90 minutes so there’s usually no after…. Just a happily ever, and in life there’s often just the same as ever, or happy never, in relationships.

Then somewhere in the mid-90’s amongst the slew of teen relationship movies the saying, “Don’t hate the player, hate the game” erupted to save us all from love. Suddenly everything was okay because it wasn’t you, and it wasn’t me, and it surely wasn’t our fault together. It’s the game we play which drags us down, that game called love.

Maybe this metaphor isn’t so right, though, at least not as a mindset. Maybe all players need to step back, stop reading the instructions and start looking at the pieces, or people, involved.

Some players cheat, need I say more. The players with all the cards up their sleeves. These players make it your choice as to whether you call B.S. on them or just turn your head. And all too often we do look the other way, in order to avoid getting hurt. Knowing they’re gonna cheat, expecting it at least, creates a built-in shock absorber – it’s insurance for the heart. Why not just let this one slide?

Some players just have the luck of the draw – those easy relationships that appear when the perfect opportunity arises out of thin air. Where did she find this guy and where can I get one? Is this girl too good to be true? Familiar questions second party onlookers ask daily while observing their love doting friends.

Some players are excellent at the game of sorry. These ones gain confidence after each repeated offense. “I’m sorry baby who knew I’d end up loving you this much…. I was scared by how much I love you…. It was only one mistake.” Enough “sorry’s” could land you back home where you started, having to build up trust all over again.

Finally, some players have a Monopoly on love – usually the least attached in relationships. They don’t care about you because their motivation is skewed. I’ve met guys like this, who play a numbers game. And more often than not I end up, unwillingly, in the discard pile. These monopolizers aren’t in the game to win true love; they just want to have the most bank in the end.

All these players construct their own approaches to win at games. They cheat, lie, steal and hurt others in their path. This isn’t the games’ fault however – stop blaming love.

Will you let one bad fall keep you from Twister, one bad spin keep you from the game of Life or one bad draw keep you from taking a risk with the Queen of Hearts?

Nope. So, don’t fold up the board or close the box only to throw it under your bed. It may look easy to quit the game, but in the end only quitters really lose – and not just in the movies this time.